How Would That Have Gone?

So according to my gossip blogs--which I check with the regularity of a diabetic checking their insulin levels in a candy store--Radiohead made some enemies when they played the Grammys last week. Namely: lyrically-challenged and top contender for the open position of Antichrist, Miley Cyrus, and possibly the most...well..."Kayne West-iest" person in world, Kayne West.

When I heard about the story and read a few quotes from each of the "artists" involved I couldn't help but imagine how the insults were hurled. So I wrote a play about it. The following is the first in hopefully a long line of The Jane Austen Watches South Park Players Present: How Would That Have Gone?

Enjoy



Location: The Grammys

Miley: I have to meet Radiohead! They are my rock gods. I love them I love them I love them. Squeeee!!!

Kayne West: Yo I love them like I love my self...which is a lot. Seriously.

Enter Thom Yorke

Kanye West: Damn Thom you remind me of me. A rainbow in a colorless world

Thom Yorke looks at Kayne, sniffs, and walks away

Kayne: Damn, that was cold. I'm going to have to blog about this later IN ALL CAPS
Kayne hops upon his powder pink segway and nearly runs down Gwyneth Paltrow.

Enter Radiohead's Manager

Miley: Sweet nibblets I need to meet Radiohead. I love them. I worship them.

Radiohead's Manager: I'm sorry again, was it Millie?

Miley: No. Miley. Miley Cyrus. Of Hannah Montana? Um...Hello? I'm totally famous.

RM: Of course Ms. Cyrus. I'm afraid that the guys just aren't very into the celebrity "meet and greet" as it were. It was bad enough getting them here, but actually talking to you people just wasn't in their contract.

Miley: Whatever!!! I'm going to go on Ryan Seacrest's show tomorrow and tell the whole world that Radiohead is a bunch of meenies that don't understand that when you are a celebrity you get to meet other "celebrities" even if you have nothing in common with them and they kinda don't get you and you sure as heck don't get them but you're desperate for music industry cred because this perky persona is wearing off fast and where will I be when I turn 20?!? WHERE WILL I BE? I mean, I can't even read for turnips sake. Oh god, I think I'm going to be sick.

One Day Later

(voiceover)Thom Yorke: One day, when Miley grows up, she will learn not to have such a sense of entitlement.

Scene

And that, my people, is why we love Thom Yorke.